In The Name of God
by yamishadow1
Summary: What happens when Yami Yugi, Bakura, and Yami Malik go to church? Mild Language! Finally chapters 2 and 3 are here! Read and Review!
1. Default Chapter

Finally, the triumpant return of Yamishadow!!  
.............................................................................................  
  
Faint clapping followed by the sound of chirping crikcets in the distance.  
  
Anyway...  
Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh in any way.  
In the Name of God!  
  
Chapter 1: The Idea  
  
Bakura, Ryou, Yugi, and Yami Yugi were walking around the city in search of something to do.  
  
They had gone to 8 movies, so that was pretty much out of the question.   
  
"Ugh, this city bites." said Bakura "And, I'm getting a cramp in my leg."  
  
"Oh quit your whining tomb-raider." said Yami Yugi who was disgusted.  
  
"Oh blow it out your ass pharaoh." screamed Bakura.  
  
"Must you two always fight." asked Ryou.  
  
"Shut it!" Bakura screamed to Ryou, and he twitched frightenly.  
  
"I think I need an asprin." said Yugi. "Why must we always argue?"  
  
"Oh shut up!" yelled Bakura as he began limping.  
  
"Oh is the tomb-raider hurt? asked a psychotic voice. It was Yami Malik, and he was walking   
  
walking over to them with Malik at his side.  
  
"What are you doing here?" asked Bakura with a disgusted look.  
  
"Well we were looking for something to do until we heard your girlish complaints. Ouch my   
  
leg, ow,ow,ow,ow,ow, somebody please notice me! Waaa! Waaa! My leg!" said Yami Malik trying   
  
to imitate Bakura.  
  
"You think you're so funny, don't you?" asked Bakura.   
  
"Well actually, I'm no stand up comedian, but I could put a few out of their jobs."  
  
"Ha, ha, haa. There you go already." said Bakura.  
  
"Anyway," Yugi began, "We still need something to do. So, anybody have any ideas?"  
  
"I've got an idea." said Malik, "How 'bout Yugi, Ryou and I go off and find something to do   
  
while you 3 go and do something."  
  
"Ok fine," said Bakura. "How 'bout we do something competitive?" he asked. "I want to whip   
  
your ass." Bakura said to Yami Malik.   
  
"Let's go guys." Yugi said to Ryou and Malik as they hurried away.  
  
"Fine, leave me with these two!" Yami Yugi shouted.  
  
"Ok......." was the sound that came from a distance.  
  
"Geeze, now what are we going to do?" asked Yami Yugi.  
  
"Well pharaoh," began Bakura, "I say we team up against psycho and pin him to the ground."  
  
"Yeah, what fun." said Yami Malik "But I am not really in the mood for a tickel fight, how   
  
'bout we keep walking until we find something to do."  
  
"As long as you don't talk." said Bakura.  
  
"Watch your tongue tomb-raider, or I will rip it out." said Yami Malik.  
  
"If anyone should watch their tongue it's you!" screamed Bakura.  
  
"I am goin' make you regret you said that!  
  
"Well by all means go ahead and try." screamed Bakura  
  
"I shall!" and at that Yami Malik launched himself at Bakura.  
  
"Get off me psycho!" Bakura screamed as he tried to get Yami Malik off of himself.  
  
"Why not both of you get your idiotic asses of the ground, and quit making a f*#$@%g scence!"  
  
screamed Yami Yugi.  
  
A nun who was walking by stopped and gasped. "Well I never. You three boys should be ashamed   
  
of yourselves. All three of you are sinners. If you plan on ever going to heaven you should   
  
go to church."  
  
"Church!" all three said in unison.  
  
"Yes sinners, church." she said.   
  
"What happens there?" asked Bakura curiously.  
  
"We praise our savior." she said matter-o-factly.  
  
"You mean you praise your leader?" asked Yami Yugi.  
  
"Well I suppose you could say it like that." she said  
  
"So they praise their leader, well I will have to become their new leader so they can praise   
  
me!" Yami Yugi said.  
  
"Excuse me!!" the nun said in shock.  
  
"Oh I don't mean they will actually praise me, I'm just alittle crazy sometimes." Yami Yugi   
  
said with his fingers crossed behind his back trying to create a coverup.  
  
"Well I suggest you three sinners follow me to the church, we don't want you to be late."  
  
"Ok." they all said.  
  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  
  
Meanwhile, Yugi, Ryou, and Malik were walking to a nice little café so they could enjoy a   
  
nice time away from there yamis.  
  
"Geee, I hope Bakura will be ok." said Ryou.  
  
"Who cares." said Malik. "I hope they get lost."  
  
"Don't be so mean." said Yugi. "I wouldn't want them to be out there all alone, like how we   
  
left them, and be near dangerous people. The three of them might hurt one of those dangerous   
  
people. Oh No! I am going back to find them!" Yugi cried as he began running back to the   
  
direction of where they left them.  
  
"What's with him?" asked Ryou.  
  
"I think he misses his Yami, but I don't know why." said Malik.  
  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  
  
Yami Yugi, Yami Malik, Bakura, and the nun arrived at the church. The nun told them to go in  
  
the front, while she went in the back.  
  
"I don't know why we are doing this." said Bakura.  
  
"I know why I am." said Yami Yugi. "I'm going to get them to be my slaves."  
  
"Right." said Yami Malik. "Let's just go in and get this over with."  
  
"Fine" said Bakura.  
  
So the 3 of them walked inside and were greeted by a young man who was standing infront of   
  
big wooded doors.  
  
"Hello, welcome to today's mass. Here is a church bulliten, and the holy water is right   
  
there." he said as he handed them a piece of paper and pointing to an angel statue holding  
  
a bowl.  
  
"Hmmm.......What makes it holy?" Bakura asked as he bravely put his fingers in the water.  
  
"Now make the sign of the cross starting on your forehead." the young man said.  
  
"Ok, here goes." and as Bakura began to make the sign of the cross he screamed loudly.   
  
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! It burns! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"  
  
Yami Malik began to laugh histarically. "YOu idiot! It's called 'holy water'. We can't touch   
  
it because we are evil. DUH! HA!"  
  
"I would kill you if I wasn't in such pain!" screamed Bakura.  
  
"Ha! I don't know what is more funny, you being in pain or actually thinking you can beat me  
  
up! HA!" screamed Yami Malik.  
  
"Take this!" Bakura screamed as he cupped his hands, and picked up a handful of the water.  
  
"Arghh!" he screamed as he threw the water in Yami Malik's face.  
  
"AHHHHHHHH! It burns my face so bad." Yami Malik screamed as he began running around in a   
  
circle clutching his face.  
  
"Haaa! AHHH! HA HA AHH!" Bakura laughed in between his yelps of pain.   
  
"Would you two cut it out." screamed Yami Yugi. "You are making fools of yourself again."  
  
"They couldn't hear him because of their screams. When Yami Malik passed by the statue on   
  
one of his circular trips, he knocked it over, and the water splashed Yami Yugi.  
  
"AHHHHHHH!" Yami Yugi screamed as his high pitched-girlish screams. "It burns! Get it off,   
  
get it off!"  
  
The three of them were running around in a circle. The young man wathced in astonishment as   
  
the three of them ran around screaming madly.  
Alright, there is chapter one. Chapter 2 shall be coming shortly so be happy!.  
  
PLease review!!Please I beg!! 


	2. Mass Begins

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh in anyway shape or form.   
  
Chapter 2: Mass Begins  
  
After the three had regained control of themselves they walked in. There  
  
were a lot of people, which freaked them out.  
  
They were just standing in the doorway looking around when an elderly man with a cane pushed his way through them. "Doorways are for walking not for standing" he said in passing.  
  
"Ooooh, how clever. You old fart." Bakura growled as the man walked in and sat down.  
  
"Where are we going to sit?" asked Yami Malik.  
  
"I want to sit there!" said Yami Yugi pointing to the altar. "That's where the 'lord' must sit. So I want to be there."   
  
"Actually boys, that's where I sit." said the priest who was standing behind them. "Why don't you three just find a seat and get out of my way."  
  
"What's up his ass?" asked Bakura as the three of them walked down the main aisle looking for a place to sit.  
  
"There's a place right there." said Yami Malik.  
  
"Where?" asked Yami Yugi.  
  
"Behind that old lady."  
  
"Which one?"  
  
"That one!"  
  
"The one with the pink sweater?"  
  
"NO! Behind the one with the white sweater!"  
  
"You mean the woman behind the one woman behind the one with the black sweater?"  
  
"YES!"  
  
"What are you talking about, that isn't even white, it's a cream-kahki mix." said Yami Yugi matter-of-factly.   
  
"I'm frightend by your impressive knowledge of colors." said Yami Malik.  
  
"Let's just sit here!" Bakura yelled as he pulled the two of them into a pew behind an old man and infront of two elderly women.  
  
They sat there for a couple of minutes awaiting the start of the mass. "This is boring, let's leave." said Bakura. "These seats are uncomfortable, my butt hurts, why do they have wooden benches, why is everyone so quiet, I think I am getting sleepy, why is everyone standing up?"  
  
"I think it is starting!" said Yami Yugi excitedly.  
  
"Welcome to today's mass. Are opening hymn is found in the music issue number 1099. I repeat 1099." said a young woman who was in the pulpit. "I repeat once again, the opening hymn is found in the music issue page 1099. That's 10,9,9."  
  
"Ok grandma, we got it the first time." Bakura mumbled. "It's not some life-changing event what page the song is on." His groans were soon washed out by the sounds of the organ begining to play.  
  
Once everyone began to sing, the alter servers, Euchristic ministers, and the priest began to walk down the aisle. Yami Yugi in, "Look, they are time trained, this may be easier then I thought it would be to get them to praise me and make me their master."  
  
They proceeded to the altar, bowed and made their way up to their seats.   
  
"Let us begin our mass by making the sign of the cross." said the priest.   
  
"Enjoy it for now old man, in time, I will have your power and your position." said Yami Yugi.   
  
"What is that you are mumbling?" asked the old man in front of them as he turned round and looked at them.   
  
"Who me?" asked Yami Yugi taken back by the acquesition of the old man.  
  
"Yes you! Now what was it you were saying?"  
  
"What does it matter to you. I don't give my slaves the benefit of speaking to me." said Yami Yugi taken back slightly.  
  
"What was that? Me, a slave?"  
  
"Yes, future slave, don't upset your master or he will come down on you with extreme punishment!"  
  
"Now you listen here you wippersnapper!" said the old man. "I am no one's slave!! You got that!" at this point he had grabbed Yami Yugi by the ear and pulled him towards him. "You don't belong in here if you are going to act all nonsense like, and loud, and , and what did you say your name was?"   
  
"Senile." said Bakura "Watch this." he added. " Well papy, mommy told me that we are going to put you in a home and never visit you again."   
  
"Huh?" said the old man.  
  
"Oh come on," said Yami Malik, "If you are going to play areound with him at least to it right." he said and leaned towards the old man. " Imagine this, you are walking down the street, it is cold out, it's raining and there is a fog. As you walk, you can here sounds other then the rain. You look to your left, nothing there, to your right, nothing there either." the old man was listening intently the intire time, looking as if he were in a trance. " Suddenly, you can see a shadow form infront of you." The old man swallowed, blinked, and looked ready to hear more. "The shape begins to form into a figure. It appears to be a man. You can hear him laugh mercilessly. He is not standing right in front of you and you are to frightened to move. He is much taller then you, and he is now bearing over you. You can feel is warm breath pass over you as he breathes. It smells rather fruity, he seems to have had some kind of fruit for lunch. You wonder to yourself what it may be,."   
  
*POKE* Bakura had poked him in the side, "Keep to the story."   
  
"Right." said Yami Malik. "Anyway you can feel his warm breath coming over you and you can see right into his eyes. He begins to mumble something, but you can't here it because you seem to be hypnotized by his eyes, and you just keep looking at him. The, you are able to hear what he is saying. 'Your soul is now mine, and there is nothing that you can do about it' then he starts to laugh."   
  
"No," the old man says in a low horse voice. "Not my soul not that. No!" he says slightly louder. He just keeps saying 'no' each time become louder and sounding more scared every time until he is now screaming.  
  
He then was screaming so loud that the preist stopped talking and everyone was looking at him. Yami Malik leaned back, as if admiring his artwork, and smiled.   
  
The old man was now screaming at the top of his lungs, and he ran out of the church flailing his limbs all about.   
  
The congregation just stared at him, then when he left, continued on with the mass as if nothing at all had happened.   
  
Yami Malik seemed pleased with himself, and Yami Yugi and Bakura glanced at eachother, looking rather impressed.   
  
Well that is the end of chapter 2! I hope my fans liked it! I need all the support I can get because I am trying to reclaim my name as Yamishadow and not Yamishadow1. Someone took my name and I will get it back. ( no offense to you present Yamishadow) Anyway, I need people to read and review it so I can have the confidence to keep writing more stories.   
  
By the way, I hope I haven't offended anybody in what I have said about church or the elderly. I love them both dearly, and it is fun to poke fun at them karma likes to get me back. So if I did offend anyone I am sorry, but I won't stop.   
  
See you when Chapter 3 comes out!! 


	3. The Plan

Disclaimer: We all know exactly how it goes so why must we constantly, but I will say it anyway... I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh.   
  
Chapter 3: The Plan  
  
Yugi, Ryou, and Malik were retracing their steps to the place where they had last seen their Yamis. They had arrived at the exact spot, but of corse, they were no where to be found. Yugi began to panic, "Oh no, where could they be, they are not here. What am I going to do now, I don't know where to look."   
  
"Oh come on, quit being such a baby about it." said Malik. "I don't really know what the big deal is. So what, they are not around. Big woop, I just hope they don't know their way back home."   
  
"Well, I wouldn't want that." said Bakura. "I don't no if I could bare life without my yami. I need him. Who else is going to put me in my place by beating me and insulting me?" he began to wimper slightly. "I miss you Bakura!!!"   
  
"Get a hold of yourself!" Malik shouted. People began to stare. "You are making a scene."  
  
"If Bakura were here, he would tell me to shut up, and then he would punch me in the stomach." Ryou said as tears began to form in his eyes.   
  
"Fine! SHUT UP!" screamed Malik as he turned to Ryou and punched him in the stomach.   
  
Ryou just wimpered and then said, "You don't his as hard as Bakura."   
  
"Don't make me angry, Ryou, I could really hurt you." Malik said angered by Ryou's comment about him being 'weak.'  
  
"Come on guys, what does it matter how hard we hit." said Yuig annyoned by their non attempt to find their other halves.  
  
At this point, a larger crowd began to gather, and they were forming a circle around the three.  
  
"Uh, why are all these people staring at us?" asked Ryou.  
  
"I don't know." Malik stated. "What does it matter?" He then began to look around at all the people. "What are you all staring at?"  
  
They all jumped back, and a few of them separated from the crowd and went on their way.   
  
"Well?" asked Malik begining to look somewhat psychotic.  
  
At this point a police officer broke his way through the circle and told everyone to go home. " What seems to be the problem here boys?" he asked them.  
  
"Problem? There is no problem here officer. Just the fact that people don't know how to mind their own business!" he said as he shot the crowd and angry look.  
  
"Please don't arrest us officer!!" Ryou began shouting between his tears. "I don't want to go to prison!! I would be eaten alive. There is no place there for someone like me!"  
  
"Look kid, I'm not going to arrest you, but I have half a mind to give you a ticket for disturbing the peace." He said.  
  
At this point Yugi joined in the crying too. " Please officer, not that, I can't get a ticket!! You see, it will go on my record, then people at school will talk about me, and my self-esteem will go down, then I won't have the heart to go to medical school to become a docter, and then I would never be able to find a cure for an awful disease not yet introduced into the world, amd then you will get it, and then you will die from it. So you see officer, if you give me this ticket, you will be digging your own grave in a sense, and you wouldn't want to that now would you?"  
  
The officer stepped back looking bewildered and then just ran off pretending he didn't see anything.  
  
"That was pretty good Yugi." said Ryou who had stopped crying and was wipping his eyes.  
  
"Yeah, I know." said Yugi who had been pretending to cry the entire time. " Yami used it on me so he could get the last cookie. He said if he didn't get that cookie, his blood sugar would drop down to an extremely low state and then he would have to be rushed to the hospital, and the medical bills would be sky high, and gramps and I would have to spend all of our money to pay for them, but it wouldn't be enough, and then we would have to sell the game shop to, and then we would live on the street, and I would have to 'work the street' so we could have enough money to eat, then I would get some kind of disease and die young."  
  
"Wow," said Malik, "that must have been one good cookie."   
  
"It was," said Yugi, "until I had found it next to the garbage can right before he came in and gave it to him willingly."  
  
"That is gross!" said Ryou.  
  
"Anyway," said Yugi, "I think it is time for us to continue our search for them."  
  
As they walked around town, they came to the church, and in passing an old man came running out of it screaming "No!! No!! Not my soul!!"   
  
They looked at eachother, and ran up the steps of the church.   
  
"Wait, said Yugi, "What if they are not in there? Do we have to go in and sit down?"  
  
"Well what if they are in there?" asked Malik sounding worried. "Do we have to join them? I heard church can be really boring."  
  
"Let's just go in and see if they are there, and if they are we will just go back to Yugi's and wait for them." said Ryou.  
  
"Alright," said Malik. "We'll do that."  
  
So the three of them walked in, and stood in the doorway and looked around trying to see if they could see them in there. Just before they spotted them, the priest looked at them and said, " Come on in you three, there are seats available." They got scared, spotted their yamis, and ran out right before they were spotted by Bakura, Yami Yugi,and Yami Malik.  
  
"Man, that was close!" said Yugi.  
  
"You're telling me!" said Malik, we almost had to go in and sit down!!"  
  
The three of them proceeded back to Yugi's house, and on their way there they had some meaningless conversations until Ryou suggested that they have a party for the three of them for surving church. They agreed, and went upstairs.  
  
"So what are we going to do?" asked Yugi   
  
"Well, I am pretty sure I can make a cake real quick and you have some other food here that we can put out for them." said Bakura.  
  
"Oh I know what we can do!" said Malik pretending to be excited," We can have ballons, confetti, a big sign saying 'you did it! Congrats!!' and when they come inside we can scream SURPRISE!!"  
  
"Yeah!" said Bakura. " That is an awsome idea!!"  
  
Malik just sighed and sat down.  
  
Well that is the end of chapter 3!! I know it didn't center around The yamis this time, but they will be back in the next chapter. Hope you guys enjoyed it! And DON'T FORGET! PLEASE REVIEW!!! Thanks. 


	4. The Mass Continues

Disclaimer: I still don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, and I don't plan on it.  
  
Chapter 4: The Mass Continues  
  
Bakura, Yami Yugi, and Yami Malik turned around to see who the priest was talking to, but just saw 3 figures run out. They turned around and continued to listen to the priest speak. The priest sat down, and so did everyone else in the church. Then the young woman stood up, and went back up to the pulpit and began to read the Readings.  
  
"Oh, man she is talking again." said Bakura looking displeased. "Hey pharaoh, first thing you need to do as these people's master is to shut this bimbo up."  
  
"Excuse me," one of the elderly women behind them tapped on Bakura's shoulder.   
  
"Yes?" asked Bakura turning around with an evil tone to his voice.  
  
"Well sonny, that BIMBO up there is my grandaughter, and I think she is doing a wonderful job, and you shouldn't be making such crude comments about her."  
  
"Look, I don't care who she is, and I don't care what she has to say because I am only here so my friend can enslave you all."  
  
"Well, you should care and what is this about enslaving me?" she asked sounding as if she had a severe case of PMS.  
  
"Look you old bat!" said Yami Yugi. "Now one cares if that is your grandaughter, as far as this crowd of people is concerned, she is just some low rate hussy who would give anyone a good time if they payed her enough, by the way, 5 bucks for 20 minutes isn't a lot." Yami Yugi added as he was on a roll insulting her grandaughter.   
  
"Well, I never in all my days have encountered someone so rude and disrespectful to an obviously attractive young woman. Especially a young man as yourself. Women won't like you if you are some rude pig."  
  
"Look granny," Yami Malik said as he interuppted her " Your grandaughter is a low rate whore and their is nothing you can do about it, and everyone here knows it, and all they are doing is judging her, which I am pretty sure your religion is againt. Now you, who seems to have been apart of this church for a long time, is standing before us JUDGING us, acting as if you are better then we because you believe in God!"   
  
The old woman seemed taken back by his coments and left her seat without saying a word and walked out the door. Her friend turned to them and said "Thank you." The three of them looked at her bewildered, and then she continued, "For the past 40 years her and her bratty kids, and then grandkids have been sitting with me. I don't know how much more of it I could have taken, so I thank you for releasing me of her presents. I know for a fact that she will not come back to this church because she will be to embrassed to show her face here from what you have confronted about."  
  
The three of them turned around and felt strange for doing a 'good' deed. Throughout the entire feud with the old woman, the young grandaughter had finished the readings and everyone was standing up for the Gospil. They all began to sing "Alleluia" as the priest made his way up to the pulpit.   
  
"Ooooh!" said Yami Yugi looking excitedly. "They are saying a chant, I am going to have fun with them." he said gleefully.  
  
The song stopped and the priest began to read out of the Gospil. The three listened for awhil, trying to follow what he was saying.   
  
"Did either of you two understand a word of that?" asked Yami Malik.  
  
"No" said Bakura  
  
"It is something about how their lord is good and he does good things, I believe." said Yami Yugi who seemed very interested in what the priest was saying. " You know, the more I think about it, it may be harder to enslave them because they are so loyal to this Jesus person. I wonder if I could meet him possibly. I would like to know what he is like, what makes him tick, I could get inside of his head and manipulate him into making these fools follow me instead."  
  
"I think he is dead." said Bakura.  
  
"Yeah, he died about 2000 years ago, so I don't think you can go and talk to him." said Yami Malik.  
  
"so what, I have been dead for 5000 years, and I am talking to you guys." Yami Yugi said.  
  
"I think that might me a bit different," said Bakura. "If you are forgeting, you were looked in the puzzle, so your body may have died, but your spirit was stuck on earth still."  
  
"Well that makes sense."   
  
Just then, the priest had finished the reading and began his homily. He began to explain the reading and when he finished, and the three of them had finally understood what he was talking about, he went back to his seat, everyone stood up, and they began to say a prayer.   
  
"Hey pharaoh, do you feel funny at all standing here while everyone is saying this prayer and we are just standing here?" asked Bakura.  
  
"No, if I am silent, I can pretend they are all saying it to me, praising me." he said with a smile on his face.  
  
They had finished their prayer, and several minutes passed in which they had to kneel on the ground.   
  
"Why are we on our knees?" asked Yami Malik.   
  
"I think it means we are showing some kind of respect to God by getting on our knees, like we are beneath him." said Bakura  
  
"Well, I for one will not prostrate myself for this one that I have never met." Said Yami Yugi who was kneeling anyway.  
  
"Well why are you kneeling?" asked Bakura.  
  
"Well I don't want to look like some fool standing up while everyone else is kneeling."  
  
"Do you guys think this will be over anytime soon or are we just going to sit here and for all eternity praising someone." asked Bakura who was rubbing his knees which hurt from all the kneeling he was doing.   
  
When they stood up, the priest said something and then everyone held hands.   
  
"What is going on here?" asked Bakura.   
  
"I don't know." said Yami Malik,"but I think it is turning into some kind of wied se.." but he was interupted by everyone beginging to pray. They just stood there looking around watching everyone speak.   
  
When they had finished, everyone turned to another and shook hands. The old woman who was sitting behind them grabbed Yami Malik by the neck of his shirt, turned him around and gave him a big kiss on the lips. "Thanks for getting rid of the old bat!!"  
  
Yami Malik turned around and tried not to throw up, and Yami Yugi and Bakura broke out into laughter. "Shut up!" Yami Malik shouted, but they didn't and he just blushed and turned away.   
  
"Psycho's got a girlfriend!" Yami Yugi and Bakura teased.   
  
"Shut up!" he shouted again. "Come on guys quit it!"  
  
They just giggled like little girls for the next few moments until they had to kneel again.   
  
They sat back down, and a collection plate had come around and it was dropped in Bakura's lap. He looked around and noticed that no one was looking at him, so he quickly grabbed the money and passed on the plate.   
  
Then music began and people who were sitting in the front began to go into the aisle and get in line. When it was finally their turn to get in line, they stood up and joined in. They made their way up to the priest, Bakura was in the lead, and when he got their, the priest held up the host and said "the body Of Christ." Bakura just looked at it and said 'so,' and then left the line and went back to his seat. Yami Yugi was next in line, and when he got up there, the priest said 'the body of christ' and held up the host. Yami Yugi stared also, and the priest began to move the host towards Yami Yugi's mouth and Yami Yugi leaned backwards trying to avoid it. The priest pushed it farther towards him, and Yami Yugi moved to the left. When the priest moved to the right to try and match up with Yami Yugi, Yami Yugi shifted to the right. The priest who was getting annoyed instructed the altar server holding the patan to kick Yami Yugi in the shin, which the boy did.   
  
"Oh what the hell do you think you are doing you little punk!" screamed Yami Yugi and before he could yell anymore at the kid, the priest jammed the host in his mouth. Yami Yugi gave the boy an evil look, glanced at the priest, and then he went back to the priest. Yami Malik had been watching others who had previously gone up and put one of his hands over the top of his other and got in front of the priest and held up his hands. "the Body of Christ." said the priest. Yami Malik allowed the priest to place it in his hands, and Yami Malik accepted it put it in his mouth and walked back to his seat.   
  
"When he got their, he saw that Yami Yugi appeared to be having the same problem that he was having. He didn't know what to do with it once he put it in his mouth. (It may seem strange, but you are supposed to leave it in your mouth and let it soften from your spit, and then swallow it whole. You can't bite it.)   
  
"Is it just me, or does it taste and feel like a stale cracker?" asked Yami Malik.  
  
"Yes it does." said Yami Yugi with a disgusted look on his face. "And it is so sharp too!"   
  
"I know! What's the deal? Are they trying to kill us or something?" asked Yami Malik.  
  
"Would you to just shut up and swallow the damn things!" screamed Bakura.  
  
They both swallowed it and then Bakura said, "I don't know if you idiots noticed, but they had wine up there."   
  
"Is all you think about alcohol?" asked Yami Malik.  
  
"Come on, how often do I talk about alcohol?"  
  
"Enough." said Yami Yugi simply.  
  
The priest said it was time for everyone tp stand for the closing prayer, which they did, with much excitement too.   
  
When the priest finished, the music began to play and all of the people up on the altar began to proceed down the aisle and when they had exited, the three had all cheered really loud.   
  
Well that is the end of chapter 4. Don't forget to review and 5 will be coming shortly! 


	5. After The Mass

Disclaimer: I still don't own a piece of Yu-Gi-OH.  
  
Chapter 5: After the Mass  
  
After everyone had left the church, the three of them got out of their seats and they snuk up to the altar. Yami Yugi sat up in the priest's chair, and Bakura saught after the alcohol. Yami Malik walked around the altar until the confessionals caught his eyes. He went over to them and snuk into the middle section, the one with the door, and sat down. He was only going there to take a nap, but when he began to doze off, someone entered the section next to him, and began to speak to him. Startled, Yami Malik sat up, and said "what do you want" in a rather irritated voice.   
  
"Father, I wish to confess my sins." the voice of a man said behind the small window in the room.   
  
"Ok, if you wish to tell me." said Yami Malik. "This could be good!" he mumbled.  
  
"Well father, I would like to start with since the last time that I have come here which was about two months ago. In this time, I have had relations with several women, and I never called any of them back."   
  
"Well there is nothing wrong with being a womanizer." said Yami Malik. "Hey if you can get some, don't turn it down, you would be nuts to."  
  
"Well in that case, I will move on. Other then that, I have stolen from several people, and I feel remorseful of this. I would apologize to them, but of course they would know that I stole from them, but they would turn me into the police."  
  
"Well, everyone steals, and the really good ones are smart enough not to get caught, so if you confess, then you wouldn't be a very good theif now would you." answered Yami Malik.  
  
"I suppose not, but I do not want to be known as a thief, that is why I am confessing this sin."  
  
"Well it is to late for that." said Yami Malik "You said yourself that you have stolen from several people, so therefore, you are and will always be known as a theif."  
  
"But I am confessing my sins, isn't that supposed to clear the slate that is my soul."   
  
"Look, I am not going to let you just waltz in here every two months and except me to forgive your sins so you can go out and do them again only to come back two months later asking me for forgivenss. I won't allow it, so get out!!" screamed Yami Malik. "Get out! Get Out! GET OUT AND NEVER EVER RETURN OR I WILL SEAL YOUR SOUL AWAY FOR ALL ETERNITY!!!!"  
  
The man scrambled out of the confessional, and ran for his life. Malik who seemed pleased with himself, looked out into the church to see if anyone else was going to come in and see him, but unfortunately for him, no one else seemed to be coming so he left.  
  
Bakura was in the sacristy trying to find where they had put the wine, until he was confronted by the priest. "Excuse me young man, but what are you doing back here?"   
  
"Oh, robe man, I am trying to locate where the wine happened to go."  
  
"Are you trying to steal from the church?" asked the priest.  
  
"Uh, no, you see I was going to drink the wine, and then I was going to leave some money so you can but some more....  
Of course I was going to steal it you fool. Now if you don't mind, let me continue my search, unlss you are going to tell me where it is?" asked Bakura  
  
"Of course not thief!" screamed the priest. "You will not take the churches wine, and for attempting to sin, I want you to go to the confessional, and sit down. I will be in shortly, and you can confess all of your sins to me."   
  
"Fine, fine, fine. I will go to this confessional, but don't expect anything out of me."  
  
Yami Yugi was still sitting in the chair pretending that everyone was bowing before him. When he saw Bakura and the priest heading towards the confessional, he quickly ran off the altar and found a place to hid. "I can't allow for the priest to spot me!" he said to himself as he ducked behind a chair.  
  
"Yeah real good hiding place pharaoh, but I can still see you." said Yami Malik. The priest nor Bakura heard him address Yami Yugi. "Why are you even hiding in the first place?"  
  
"I am not yet ready to confront the priest about taking over his job."  
  
"Oh really, that is a true pity."  
  
Bakura had entered the confessional, and the priest entered the middle section where Yami Malik had been minutes before.   
  
"Well son, what is it you wish to tell me?" asked the priest  
  
"I do not wish to tell you anything." he responded.   
  
"Well let us begin with the stealing then, how long have you been stealing?"  
  
"Well, I have been doing it since I was a young child, so it has been a long time. And besides trying to find the wine to steal, I took the money from your collection. If you don't mind I would like to keep it."  
  
"Well it would be much appriciated if you return it."  
  
"No, I choose not to."  
  
"Very well, have you ever done anything else besides steal?"  
  
"Well of course!" responded Bakura who seemed shocked that the priest thought he was only capable of stealing. "I have done countless things that most would find horendous. For starters, I have imprisoned countless souls in the shadow realm. Their presents there have made me stronger, and that is good."  
  
"So in a way, you have killed these people?" asked the priest  
  
"Well, in a way yes. By removing their souls from their body, their body ages until it dies, but their soul does not, and if they were ever released, they would not have a body to go back to." said Bakura  
  
At this point, the priest moved a piece of wood inside his side of the confessional which revealed a red button. He pushed then pushed it.  
  
Yami Yugi and Yami Malik continued to walk around on the altar until they spotted the doorway to the sacristy. They entered it, and inside they found the chalice that was used in the mass.   
  
"Oooh!" said Yami Malik, "I bet Bakura would like to get his hands on this thing, it looks really old and expensive. Maybe we should go and find him and show this to him?" asked Yami Malik.  
  
"That is unimportant at the moment." said Yami Yugi. "Are main concern is to find something I can use against this priest so I can take over his position."   
  
Bakura began to grow bored with the discussion he was having with the priest. "How about we wrap this up?"  
  
"Uh, well.." the priest said trying to stall for time.  
  
After the priest had said this, someone grabbed Bakura from the confessional and slammed him to the floor.  
  
"What the hell is going on HERE!" he screamed.  
  
"You have the right to remain silent," began the police officer that the priest had contacted with the red button. 'Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney, if you can not afford one, one will be appointed to you. Do you understand your rights?"  
  
"On what grounds are you arresting me!" screamed Bakura.  
  
"On the elliged murder of countless people." said the priest.  
  
"I thought what I told you was suppose to be confidential."   
  
"Well, frankly, I didn't like you since the moment I spotted you in my church and I have decided that there is no place for you our your rifraff friends in my church."  
  
"What the hell are you talking about?" screamed Bakura. "You guys are supposed to open your doors to anyone who wishes to attended mass, and you are supposed to be non-judgemental! So what the hell are you doing?"   
  
"I already told you, I don't like you. Now officers, take him away!"  
  
And at that the police officers proceeded to escort Bakura out of the church and put him into the police car.   
  
On his way out, Bakura screamed " Pharaoh! Psycho! Help me!"  
  
Before Yami Yugi and Yami Malik could do anything, Bakura was already being driven away to the police station.  
  
Well that is the end of chapter 5! I hope you all enjoyed it! Chapter 6 will be the last chapter for this story. I know it will be sad, but don't forget to review!!! Make sure, I need all the reviews I can get so I can get my name back. *Remember, it is not the actual reviews that will get me my name back, but they will give me the support I need to keep writing more stories which will bring me over the top!!  
  
Anyone who was offened in anyway by this chapter or the ones proceeding it, I apologize to you. Indeed, the priest is not supposed to tell what happens in the confessional, no matter what, but sometimes they do leak information. Also, there is no red button inside the confessionals that alerts the police to come down to the police station so do not worry!! 


	6. Everything is right again?

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, and I probably never will.  
  
Chapter 6: Everything is right again?  
  
Yugi, Ryou, and Malik were at Yugi's house finishing up the final touches forthe surprise parties for their Yami Yugi, Yami Malik, and Bakura. They had no idea that Bakura had been carted off to prison, and that the other yamis were on their way their to see what had happend.   
  
"When do you guys think they will be home?" Ryou asked.  
  
"I don't know," answered Yugi, "but I think mass is only an hour long, so it would have ended about 5 minutes ago, so they should be home in about 10 minutes or so."   
  
"Well then, we had better hurry up and make sure that we finish in time." said Ryou.   
  
"Well then, back to work back to work!" said Yami Yugi.  
  
At the police station, Bakura was processed, and then he was put into a cell where he waited for Yami Yugi and Yami Malik.   
  
"Aren't I entitled to a phone call?" asked Bakura  
  
"Sorry, we would let you call someone, but our phone is broken." answered the cop. A bunch of them were in a corner laughing at the people sitting in the cell, especially Bakura.   
  
"Lousy pigs!" snarled Bakura and he went and sat down one of the bences in the cell.   
  
Another prisoner came and sat next to him and tried to talk to him.   
  
"So, why are you here?" he asked.  
  
"For murder." Bakura answered calmly.  
  
"Is that so..." and the other prisoner backed away from him.  
  
"Fool." He wispered to himself.  
  
Yami Yugi and Yami Malik were leaving the church and chasing after the police car.   
  
"Come back here with my tomb-raider!!" screamed Yami Yugi. "After all that we have been through, he was arrested because of a priest!! Imagine how embrassed he must be." Yami Yugi said while runnig out of breath.  
  
"Do you think we should go and see him?" inquired Yami Malik who started to slow down.  
  
"I think we should at least see why he was taken away." said Yami Yugi who was also slowing down.   
  
"Well do you think if we are going to do this we should at least get a taxi or something?" asked Yami Malik who was now begining to pant.   
  
"Yeah, that is a good idea." replied Yami Yugi who was also running out breath.   
  
They flagged down a taxi and jumped in.   
  
Bakura sat there, with his head against the wall trying to catch some Zzz's while he was interupted by another prisoner. This one was much larger then the previous prisoner, and he seemed rather scary. "You are sitting in my seat." he said with a low growl.  
  
"Oh, is that so. I really don't give a rat's ass if I am sitting in YOUR seat. When did you buy it, for you see, I do not see any proof that it belongs to you at all. Maybe you are just a liar, and want my seat. So to that I say 'tough crap.' I am sitting here, and if you want to sit here you can just wait until I leave." said Bakura who was annoyed that someone was bothering him while he was trying to sleep.   
  
"Look kid, I was sittin' here, went to the bathroom, and when I came out, you were here. Now I suggest that you get out of my seat and right away." the prisoner said, with more force in his vocie then that of his previous statement.   
  
"Well, I have been here for quite a while, what the hell took you so long in the bathroom?" asked Bakura.  
  
"What does what I did in the bathroom matter to you?" asked the prisoner seeming offended.   
  
"Well, I am simply stating that I have been here for some time, and I didn't see you until now, and I have been in this cell for over 20 minutes. So I shall ask you again. What were you doing in the bathroom?"  
  
"That would be none of your business!" shouted the prisoner. "Now get out of my seat!" and he grabbed Bakura by the hair, and yanked him out of the seat.  
  
"Cheese and Rice, let go of my tucking hair!" he screamed as he was forced up.  
  
"You got some behavioral problems that need fixin'." said the prisoner. "And I intend to fix em' for you. Now do you got a problem with that?"  
  
"Well yes, but at the moment, that is not the problem at hand. The first thing we should deal with is that noxious smell filtering out of your pie-hole." said Bakura calmly.  
  
"What are you saying, my breath stinks?" asked the prisoner.  
  
"Yeah, weren't you listening?" asked Bakura who was still remaining calm.  
  
"I have half a mind to bash your face in."  
  
"Yeah, half a mind sounds about right." responded Bakura  
  
"Did you just call me stupid?" asked the prisoner who now seemed to be enraged.  
  
"Wow, you're a quick one. What makes you think you're stupid?"  
  
"You little brat, I should kick your ass!"  
  
"As for you, I don't know if you could find your ass in a paperbag with a flashlight." said Bakura who was begining to grow irritated with the converstation he was having with the prisoner.  
  
"That is it, say your prayer kids, cause you're about to die!"  
  
"Am I really?" asked Bakura.  
  
"Yeah, that is what I just said." said the prisoner who was obviously growing tired of these mind games by Bakura.  
  
"So you are going to pummel me into oblivion. Right?" asked Bakura.  
  
"Well duh." said the prisoner  
  
"Wouldn't you just rather let me go? I mean it would be so much easier. All you would have to do is release your grip on my clothes and just back away with out laying another finger on me."  
  
"No, that doesn't sound fun, I think my way is better."  
  
"Well then, in that case we'll do it another way, you stop breathing temporarily, and your grip releases, and I walk away as if nothing happend. And when you come back to get revenge, which you will, I will be waiting to kick your ass so hard you'll wish you never born." said Bakura with a malice look on his face.   
  
"Huh? You think a little scruny brat like yourself can beat me up?" the prisoner started to laugh.  
  
"Well then, let's try it." at that, Bakura thrusted the palm of his hand into the throat of the prisoner, and he was released by him. As the prisoner struggled to breathe, Bakura got up and sat in another seat as if nothing had happened at all. Several minutes passed until the prisoner let go of his throat and finally relaxed. He kept watching Bakura's every move, waiting, just like in a game of cat and mouse. Bakura, who knew that he was being watched, pretended not to notice, and pretended to sleep. About ten minutes passed until the prisoner got up, and moved a couple seats away from Bakura. The corners of Bakura's lips began to curl upward as he knew that the dufus prisoner was falling right into his trap. Another minute passed, and the prisoner moved over a couple of seats. Two more passed, and he was now just 3 seats away from Bakura. The seat next Bakura was empty, but the one next to the prisoner was being occupied by another prisoner. Then, without warning, the prisoner jumped up and lunged at Bakura. Without ever opening his eyes, Bakura swan his foot under the empty chair next to him, and kicked it into the path of the prisoner and stopped him long enough for Bakura to get up and punch the prisoner out. The prisoner, who was now unconscious, was laying in the middle of the cell, and all the other prisoners in there were just watching him, and then looking at Bakura in awe, as if nothing had happend at all.   
  
Yugi, Ryou, and Malik were sitting in the living room watching the hands of the clock move. They had been waiting 20 extra minutes, and the 3 of them had still not shown up. Ryou, who was begining to grow worried and annoyed by their lateness, got up and began to pace the floor.  
  
"Would you sit down!" demanded Malik. That is very annoying.  
  
"Well, it helps me relax." said Ryou.   
  
"Sit down, or I will make you sit down." Malik shouted  
  
"Look, we don't need any one to fight. Ryou, go and pace in the other room." said Yugi.   
  
"Fine, fine, fine. I wonder where they could be?" Ryou asked himself  
  
When Yami Yugi and Yami Malik had finally arrived at the police station, they walked in and asked the attendent if they could see one of the prisoners that they had just brought in. The two of them were asked a series of questions about Bakura, which the answers were all lies to, and finally allowed them to go and see him. They arrived infront of his cell, he was moved for 'disturbing' the other prisoners, and he was pleased to see Yami Yugi and Yami Malik.  
  
"What in the name of God took you guys so long?" he asked as the pleased look on his face turned to disgust in record speed.  
  
"We got here, and that is all that matters." said Yami Malik.  
  
"You should be grateful that we decided to come and bail you out at all." said Yami Yugi who was holding the cell key infront of him.   
  
"How did you guys get them to bail me out?" asked Bakura.  
  
"We told them that you hadn't taken your meds today and you were becoming delusion and we would get you home as soon as possible and pump you full of drugs." said Yami Malik who seemed excited at the thought.  
  
"Well isn't that nice, now they think I am a psycho."  
  
"Hey, you are saying psycho like it is a bad thing." said Yami Malik.  
  
Yami Yugi went to see if he knew any of the prisoners, and left the key with Yami Malik. Yami Malik's face formed an evil grin as he watched Bakura gasp as the key changed hands.  
  
"Well, tomb-raider, it seems that I am in charge now, and I make all the descions." said Yami Malik gleefully.  
  
"Just open the damn door!" screamed Bakura  
  
"Tut, tut, Bakura. I have the key, and I can decided wether or not I want to free you. Now what should I make you do for me?"  
  
"What do you mean?" asked Bakura  
  
"Well if you want to get out, I should make you do something for me."  
  
"I will not, I would rather rot in here then help you!" shouted Bakura.  
  
"Well you just may do that." said Yami Malik.  
  
"No, not likely, if you don't unlock the door someone else will, they'll eventually need the cell space..."  
  
"Well in that case.." and at this Yami Malik began to swing the key in front of Bakura's face, watching Bakura's eyes move to the swing of the key.  
  
"Does someone want the key?" asked Yami Malik in a baby voice.  
  
"You disguts me." said Bakura.  
  
"Is somebody cranky?" asked Yami Malik who was now dancing around with the key in his hand still using the baby voice to talk to Bakura.  
  
"I despise you." Bakura growled.  
  
Yami Malik evenutally gave in and unlocked Bakura from the cell, and they went to go find Yami Yugi. He was talking to a prisoner from the cell that Bakura had previously been in. Yami Yugi then joined the other two, and when they walked by the prisoner that Bakura had the confrontation with, and he blew a kiss at Bakura which really freaked him out.   
  
"Goodbye baby." the prisoner said to him in passing.  
  
Playing along and trying to scare the prisoner, which he did, he said "Bye bye my little buttercup."   
  
As the three of them made their way back to Yugi's place to see if their hikaris were there, they noticed that it was almost dark out. As they made their way, street by street, they saw the nun that they had encountered early that day walking alone. They went up to go talk to her.  
  
"Well hello boys." she said. "Did you enjoy yourselves at church today?"  
  
"Yes sister, we did." Yami Yugi replied. "I found it to be very inspiring."  
  
"Well that is wonderful indeed." she replied. "I hope the three of you get home safely." she said  
  
"What is up with her?" asked Bakura as they left her presents and continued their walk home.  
  
"What do you mean?" asked Yami Malik. "She is just being nunny."   
  
"Nunny?? Is that even a word?" asked Yami Yugi.  
  
"What I mean is she was so critical early, and now she is all..." Bakura paused because he couldn't think of a word.  
  
"Nunny?" filled in Yami Malik.  
  
"Yes, fine! NUNNY!"  
  
  
  
The three of them continued their walk home, and when they arrived, they opend the door, and instead of being greeted with a big 'surprise' Bakura was greeted with a big "You're late!" from Ryou.  
  
"What do you mean I am 'late?' asked Bakura.  
  
"What I mean is, I had everything planned out for when you would get home from your experience at church, but you ruin everything by showing up 2 hours late. Everything is just ruined." he said as he started to cry.  
  
"Look Ryou, I have had a rough day, and I don't think I can take one of your 'moods' right now. So can this wait until we get home?" asked Bakura, who was embarassed by his hikari.   
  
"Don't think you are off the hook!" shouted Ryou as he and Bakura said their goodbyes.  
  
Shortly after, Yami Malik and Malik left and it was just Yugi and his Yami left, and they told eachother about the day that they had.  
  
The End!  
  
Well, thats the end of the story. Hope that all of you liked it. If you ever want to talk to me, my email address and aim is in my bio! 


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